In this blog post I want to address an issue that many people struggle with and ask me about all the time:
Why do I keeep attracting the same guys or types of relationships?
And this was something that I struggled with for a long, long time. Yet when I came to and was guided to some of the realisations that I’ll share in this post it helped me to shift my perspective. Which helped me in not falling into the same patterns and having to go back to square one in terms of healing, aligning and attracting what I want.
So, in sharing I’m hoping that it will help you in some way too and get you aligned with experiencing the love you want.
1. Stop labelling them as the ‘wrong’ man
In the world of spirituality, energy and law of attraction there is no real wrong or right. Yet there are many lessons and blessings. For every relationship that hasn’t ended with ‘happily ever after’ there will be a lesson and blessing to be savioured from it. For every man who has abandoned you, cheated on you or let you down there will be more lessons and blessings to be gained.
It’s up to you to find them.
It could be that you found your own strength, fell back in love with you, started a new hobby that became a successful business, discovered the power of forgiveness or taught you the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries.
The bottom line is when you set an intention to attract your true love, your soul and all of your spiritual team may have to show you your barriers to love first. Once you overcome those barriers you get to align, receive and enjoy.
2. Time to change the record
What record about love, relationships and men are you playing on repeat in your mind or aloud amongst your girlfriends over wine on a Friday night?
You’ll know what your record is by the way in which you:
Talk about men, love and relationships
React or respond when you see loved up couples or hear someone is dating someone new
The thoughts and responses that you have are all very, very telling about how you truly feel about your chances of being in a loving, happy and committed relationship with the man of your dreams.
This is important to know when it comes to the mind because they say that your mind cannot hold conflicting thoughts, stories and beliefs. That which has the weakest vibration will be cancelled out by the one with the dominant vibration. So, if you think and feel you are not good enough and all men are cheating bastards, yet say you want to meet ‘the one’. Which thought do you think carries the most weight?
3. Holding on to the past
I see it a lot and am guilty of having done this myself. It’s something that’s easily done especially when you’ve invested time and energy into a relationship, or when it’s been a while since you met someone whose sparked a light within. However, when the spark has gone or when the relationship is dead, it’s important to find a way to let it all go.
Holding onto the past equates to holding onto old energy. Energy that’s ready to be released. I learned the hard way that until I energetically let go and made up my mind to move on, I would play the going back and forth game much longer than needed.
Sometimes the new and the better relationship + person, are right there for you yet whilst you’re holding on you won’t see it. There are times that even when you do see it you fail to appreciate it or you pick faults where there are none. Unintentionally, talking yourself out of the relationship you’ve been dreaming of.
4. Check the company you keep
Carrying on from letting go, you may find that some people in your circle need to be added to the list.
Yep, the sad truth is: Not everyone is for you!
If you are rolling with people who are constantly male-bashing, don’t clap when you win, seldom ask how you are but happily moan about their own life or constantly repeat BS cycles in love and life, decide if you want to be hanging with them every weekend.
IThe people in your circle should be supportive. They should have your back and want to see you win. Being inspired and uplifted goes a long way too.
Notice who’s there for you and don’t be afraid to make some edits. If only for a specific period of time.
5. How you feel about yourself matters
How you truly feel about yourself often resonates on the outside and the way that you treat yourself. It also has an impact on what and who you attract, as well as what you entertain or put up with too.
When you are investing in yourself and naturally feeling good you are not going to want anyone killing your vibe. Therefore, you’ll be more discerning about the relationships you get into and the men you engage with. In fact, I’ve found that when I started investing in me it was much easier to separate the boys from the potential kings.
So, what can you do to invest in how you look and feel from the inside out?
This might involve making changes to your morning routine, such as introducing gratitude, prayer, meditation and mirror work. Alternatively, you may want to do more outer beauty work to raise your vibe, such as changing your eating habits, hitting the gym, updating your wardrobe or experimenting with colour in your beauty routine. Maybe it’s a combination of inner and outer beauty.
Whatever it is make sure that your attention and intention revolves around you. Raising your own vibration so that you feel and look amazing from the inside out.
Once you notice your patterns and habits you have the opportunity to make a different choice.
People of all kinds will still be attracted to you. However, with wisdom, awareness and discernment you can make smarter (for want of a better word) decisions about who you get into a relationship with. After all, it is you who choose what and who you entertain and for how long. Don’t prolong the lesson and starve yourself of the ultimate blessing that your heart desires.
So, that’s all I have for you this week. If anything has resonated with you and you’ve enjoyed the post please do hit the follow button, as well as share this blog on your social media pages. If you wanted to ask me any questions or book a 1-2-1 session based on this topic then contact me here.
With lots of love and gratitude xo